Originally published in January, 2023.
‘I hope he is doing fine,’ thought Maria as she lay down on a rope hammock at the back of her house. Yesterday evening, she and her long-time lover had quarreled over whether or not they wanted children after marriage.
“I want children, I want to build a family,” said Jatin, raising his voice.
Maria had told him earlier that she isn’t sure she would have children. Just not with Jatin, but with anyone. Hearing this made Jatin furious and sad. He always dreamed of a happy family with kids running around in the house.
“Yes, I know that. Stop shouting!”
“You said you love me. That you will come with me anywhere I go and support me with whatever I do.”
“Yes, I know that too.”
“Then why the fuck are you saying you aren’t sure of having children with me?”
“STOP SHOUTING!”
“FUCK IT, AND FUCK YOU! I LOVE YOU BUT I DID NOT EXPECT THIS. THAT YOU WOULD BE UNSURE WHETHER OR NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN WITH ME.”
Jatin stormed out, slamming the gate shut noisily in the process.
‘I don’t know why he got angry. I never said I would not have children with him. I just said I am not sure whether or not I want children,’ thought Maria as the events that took place yesterday replayed in her mind.
Maria loved Jatin a lot. She was not angry that he had shouted at her and stormed out. She was angry because he did not understand her.
‘I don’t yet know whether or not I can be a good mother. I don’t know if I can handle the pressure and nurture kids. I am clumsy. I am confused. I want a family too. I hope he would understand. I want his babies. But before that happens, I want to make sure I can become a good mother and support the family.’
Maria was deep in her thoughts when she noticed her Samsung S22 ringing. Jatin had gifted her the phone last year. She took a deep breath and answered the phone.
“Hello.”
“Hey, it’s me.”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry.”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry for what happened yesterday. I have been thinking a lot since. I know you did not mean it that way. Maybe we should sit down and chat. Understand what we want and the problems in it.”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry.”
“Okay. Where are you?”
“Yes, for fucks sake. Since I lost my head and stormed out in the middle of the night, I have been staying at the railway station. It’s freezing. Please, can I come back home?”
